so this is Christmas...

every year i tell myself


-- matt, buy your presents early next year. do not be an ass and have to battle the crowds on christmas eve like you did this year...and the last year...and the year before that...

and every year i ignore myself.


so there i was again, christmas eve 2007, at the mall. but it actually wasn't that bad. i think i've perfected the art of Christmas Eve shopping now. i got in and out in under 2 hours.

and hey, it's better than giving I.O.U.'s like I did two years ago...

by far the hardest part was trying to squeeze my father's pick-up truck into the parking lot. that thing is GIGANTIC. practically a hummer. and at 14 miles to the gallon, you might as well just call it a hummer.

but my day was a success. my parents throw a party every Christmas Eve. i see the same people every year. answer the same questions every year. eat the same things every year. and you know what? i wouldn't trade it for all the ice at the north pole.

which...according to Al Gore, is not that much these days.

but all things aside, there's nothing like christmas at home. especially when there's a 47-pound home-grown free range turkey getting nice and sweaty in the oven downstairs as i type.

and it's nice to know, even though it was 60 degrees yesterday in PA, far too warm for snow, i'm still gonna have a WHITE Christmas no matter what.

HAHAHAHA. it never gets old folks! never gets old!

Merry Christmas, everyone.

one down, three to go...

I just logged on and noticed that i have 396 blog posts to my name. will i make it to lucky 400 by the end of '007...? i'll have to ask mr. owl.

granted, i'm realizing that about 352 of those posts had something to do with bodily excrement. why is that -- i don't know. or DO i? perhaps i have a fetish. no. i don't. i definitely do not. and to those of you who do -- shame on you!

but i've been thinking about this a lot lately, especially since a friend of mine sent me THIS.

and i've come to the exciting discovery...that BLOGS and good old-fashioned POO actually have a lot in common:

some are long,
some are short.

some really stink,
and some don't stink half-bad.

sometimes i sit and sit and nothing comes out,
while sometimes it just floooows.

some are corny.

some are painful,
some feel real nice.

some make me laugh,
and some bring tears to my eyes.

some i'm quite proud of,
while others i'm like "Good G-d did that really come from ME??!"

and if i ever get around to writing that blog about why everyone should drive a hybrid, then i can honestly say...

some are green.



til next time...